Love has to be the main ingredient in a marriage, but some times love is not enough. Love has to grow in a marriage when both couples want a true relationship. Both have to work on it to make it a solid happy marriage. It takes time, patience, getting used to each others habits good and bad. Try and change what bothers each other, understand and be considerate of each others feelings. If you are not willing to make the sacrifice then you do not want to be married.
When two people get married it is because they need a companion to share their life with, grow old with, and share a life when all the kids are gone and married. A marriage is a 50-50 deal. They work, get home take care of the children and house. On weekends get together and go out with their kids. At times they take turns taking care of the kids while the other relaxes, goes shopping and has their own space.
Why get married if they want to live the single life? Get a maid that will cook and clean, Get a girlfriend or boyfriend that wants no responsibility. Don’t have kids.
Most men assume that their responsibility is to work, get home, eat, relax, then on weekends he goes out and enjoy himself? Those were the old times when woman was a man’s slave. What happens to the woman? Most who work, get home to cook, clean, take care of the kids, then on weekends they still have to take care of the kids, while the husband goes out and has a good time by himself. Is that fair?
Most couples get married, they have kids , they have a home all is good until one of them falls out of love and they have a divorce. The woman has to stay with the kids because she is the “mother.” Then come the complaints about him working, not enjoying himself, having to pay child support. Sacrificing himself. What happens to the woman? She is left alone, taking care of her kids 24-7, feeding them, taking them to school, taking them to their activities, she has no time for herself, while their father is enjoying life, he then runs to another woman to take care of him.
I have seen a lot of women, get married, they have good husbands who take care of them. They want to live the life of a single woman. Then many make the mistake of falling for another man, then start finding fault on their husbands, and realize they do not love him or fall out of love and decide to throw their husbands out of the house, and get a divorce. These women start dreaming of the good life with their lover, a baby sitter for their kids, Alimony and child support from their ex-husbands, financial help from her lover, going out and living the wonderful life, only to wake up and find that their lover does not like her children, and or, he just leaves her. She works and does not get alimony, just child support. No baby sitter and is left alone, with bills she cannot afford, and the nightmares begin. Then she complains about having to take care of her kids, and her life is bad. Her single life went sour.
I have also seen good women and men be mistreated by their spouses, who abandon them never to e seen again. These women and men sacrifice their lives for their children, they work and give their children a good education. Most are lucky if their children appreciate them and take care of them in their old ages, Others have the misfortune of having their kids forget them and not appreciate what they have done for them, yet they are content because they fulfilled their responsibility.
If you are not ready to make the commitment, do not get married, for marriage is a good thing if you are ready and willing to take the challenge.